confess

this entry is what i have been keep it to myself. i'm afraid to tell anyone who judge me and call me as a bad girlfriend to my ex. because i know, they not gonna believe me. they believe my ex boyfriend. so this is for you guys. 

i've been in a relationship with him, Mr. A.H. about 3 years plus, and i swear he is the guy that i wanted to get married with. he has everything that i want. i sacrifice a lot for him which is my future, my money and my time. he bought me everything that i want! i'm so grateful. i've been there when he needs me the most. i drive alone in the middle of night just to see him. we did broke up so many times before this, but the love to each other bring us back together. he has cheated on me so many times too, but yet still, i love him and it does'nt change. 

i'm so scared right now. i still fobia to have a new relationship because i trust my ex too much, love him so much and i believe all guys are the same! after 6 months, i manage to survive without him with the help of my bestfriends & friends. *i owe u guys too much! thanks!* btw, i cant cheat myself too. i still love him, i do love him until now. 

i've been thinking too much last night. i cant sleep. i remember before we broke up, he said he's gonna loves me forever, but where's the love? he did not come and only find me after 4 months break up, and after that i saw his FB, he calls other girl sayang, dear. i mean like, come on, if he do loves me, he wont do that. and why still wanna wait until 4 months and find me. i already give him a chance before? right?

he said to his friends, i'm the one who cheat on him. if i cheat on him, i should have a boyfriend right now. i should be happy. in 3 years plus we couple, i break my friendship with my guy friends because he is too jealous. so where the hell i have time to cheat on you! please THINK! and to his friends, you guys know him long before i meet him. i think u guys should know about him right?

i heard so many bad rumors about me. but i can still be patient. i cant close everyone mouth, i dont have any super power to do so. so i just keep it to myself. i hope after you guys read this, please dont call me a bad girl. i have a feeling too. 

thank you for reading this,

Much love, 

Tira.